Thanks, but no thanks

As children we were reinforced by our parents to be polite, courteous and generous in saying “please”, “yes” and “thank you.” Yet somewhere along the way, those simple words which were incorporated into a sense of entitlement in what was once considered part of the mundane vocabulary of etiquette is now quite simply forgotten or not spoken. When did we stop saying thank you and WHO decided in our society that it was okay that no thanks was acceptable? From little kids to adults I have noticed those words are not uttered enough. Is that we no longer value their significance given that in this modern tech age personal touch is replaced by electronic devices? Is society in all its facets changing so quickly that it has buried the traditional ideals of Emily Post?

With social media and other modern technology replacing physical contact, it’s much easier for people to blog or text a thank you – or perhaps not mention it at all. It’s conceivable that consistent correspondence is seen as a form of “thank you.” After all, you are engaging with another human online – isn’t that enough?

From the smallest gesture of someone picking up something I may have dropped on the floor to having the tailor sew buttons on my blouse, I am always aware the value and power of the words Thank You. Made up of only eight letters, these simple words can change your life’s direction. For regardless of the motivation of the giver, those simple kind words leave warm and fuzzy feelings to ensure a bond or future partnership. They remind that individual as to the reason they thought of YOU in the first place.

Our belief system has reminded us that we are grateful for the gesture of another who has provided us something – an opportunity, an advantage, a service or kind thought. Too often however, the deed goes unnoticed. Gratitude comes in all forms – a thank you note, a verbal comment, an email or a token of appreciation ranging from a bottle of wine to perfume and flowers to returning the favor at a future time, but it is important to acknowledge the GESTURE with some form of Thank You less you decide to leave the other person bitter and disappointed and thinking you are a mooch or ungrateful jerk.

What do you think is the best way to thank someone? Is it a heartfelt verbal comment or the written word which often stands out? And while a thank you is nice to say – how does one know when it’s heartfelt? How do you make it heartfelt? I believe it should carry some detail as to the circumstances of the gift or experience. In this way it does not sound like a Hallmark card.

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